Monday, November 7, 2011

Following My Sinful Heart

"There are two ways through life - the way of nature and the way of grace.  You have to choose the one that you will follow."
The Tree of Life


This blog isn't what I really intended it to be.  I never meant for it to be a Christian blog.
I mean, who am I to write about faith?
I am not educated in religion or Christianity - no university studies or degrees.
I have failed at retaining my faith in God, on more than one occasion.
I am a constant backslider (as we like to call ourselves here in the South).
I use bad words, have tattoos and a temper.
My friends would laugh or be in shocked to see how my heart has changed,
but for whatever reason this is where I have been lead,
Back to where I've been before - believing wholeheartedly that this is the truth.
Maybe I was never really here before.
When I read the Bible now or go to church, it all seems so very new.
New for a girl who has gone to church since before I was going to school,
Who always had this desire to know God.
I have a clearer understanding of it all.
How strange that after years of church and fellowship, a few years of rejecting it all, that it would all seem so foreign.
I'm scared of this path my blog has taken, in a way.
I'm scared that I will fail you as I have been failed by others. 
I worry that you will see my mistakes and judge me dishonest, not a true believer.
I hope to not disappoint you,
I hope that you will see a little of me in you,
Not perfect,
Sometimes wrong,
A sinner.
But I also hope that you are able to see that despite all that - you are
Loved
Worthy
Forgiven,
Just like me.



3 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. We are all on the same path, some further along, but all in need of grace and forgiveness.

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  2. i talk about my faith alot on my blog. my spirituality is very much a part of who i am...it just has to come out. so go for it. talk about your thoughts and believe me no one has all the answers. even though i've been a believer since i was 6 years old i still have questions.

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  3. I never thought I'd have a Christian blog either but...really could relate to this post!

    ReplyDelete

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